Snider's Ribs, Early Edition: Sure, we could devolve the conversation into a smoking, saucy pile of nonsense. But for a guy who grips-it-and-rips-it like Snider, a rib cage injury (Whole Lott of NatPost!) can be a nagging, long-term issue, and it's enough to have us balancing out worry over how soon he can return, or whether if he should.
Scotty Pods' Podiatrical Problems: Recent signee and new Jays fan favorite Scott Podsednik (who you clearly love more than we do) has the plantar faciatis troubles (via The Star) once again. Having once struggled through similar issues, we can attest that it is a painful problem. Also, it seems to strike old tubby guys who are trying to be more active than they should. So our recommendation to Podsednik is to take it easy, do lots of foot stretching and don't scamper about too fast. And if it means that you have to stay off the active roster for the bulk of the season, so be it.2
Johnny Mac and the Tools of Ignorance: We've known for years that John McDonald was the Jays' emergency (he prefers "safety valve") option behind the plate should both catchers go down within the span of nine innings. But after seeing some pics of McDonald in full backstop's regalia, we couldn't help but wonder: Could a guy with his baseball IQ but middling offensive skills actually extend his career by serving as a backup catcher? Imagine that we're coming into the season, and we've got J.P. Arencibia and John McDonald as our catchers: Is that any worse that JPA and Random Molina3?
Snider's Ribs, Late Edition: Catching up later, looking for links, we notice that Snider hurt himself while golfing (Gregor, via msnbc).4 Seriously, what the fucking fuck. We're beginning to think that they should hold early workouts at the Rogers Centre so as to avoid this sort of monkeyshines-induced infirmity. And as a sidenote to our good pal the Lunchbox: Take it easy on the links, dude. You don't need to impress anyone with your golf game. Use a three-iron off the tee, and keep it in the fairway.
----------------------------------------1. Likely not the actual name, though we'll never remember what the real one is. This seems close enough. Or certainly not much more comical than the actual one.
2. Oddly, we'd just started to warm to Podsednik as bench depth. This joke is our subconscious way of getting ourselves back to slappy-hating.
3. 2010 OPS: McDonald - .727 in 163 PAs; Molina - .681 in 183 PAs.
4. And yeah, we realize that the fact of the golfing was right there in the lede of the Lott piece. We went back afterward to find the links, so we were in the dark as of the writing of that initial item. Now you know.