We're not sure what was in the drinks being served in sections 516 and 517 at tonight's home opener, but it looked like Hell Night at Lake Havasu over there.
We can't be sure what precipitated the nasty scraps in that section, but the pasty shirtless ginger dude certainly looked like a Masshole.
(Then again, there were more than a few douchebag Jays fans in attendance. To the dude in our section who wore his sunglasses all night inside the dome and chanted "U-S-A!" every five minutes, you are the exact opposite of cool. You are early 90's Corey Feldman-stlye ridiculous.)
There was also the girl in the same section flashing her lady pillows, to much applause from the Jerry Springer crowd around her. Although this being Toronto, even the rowdy douchey drunks were polite enough not to yell "show your tits" more than once.
To top it off, there was the couple who decided to strip to the waist and run on the field with two out in the ninth and Accardo.If only they had as much brains as Miss Fluffy Fragrance had boobs. We hope they enjoy their night in the drunk tank together.
And above all, Jays win. A bonerific night for all.