Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Wednesday! Mailbag!

In all the excitement of another week of drudgery fun!, we almost forgot that today was Wednesday - and time for Dick (Griffin) to empty his (mail)bag.

Dick shows some remarkable restraint this week by running just two sycophantic sloppy kisses to his greatness. This week's praise for Richard comes from Kevin Smith of Toronto, who says "I love your column" (don't we all), and Robert Hodges of Bangor, Maine, who says: "I love your columns and your mailbag". We've been to Bangor. Believe us when we tell you, they've got low standards.

Otherwise, here's your 60 Second Dick Griffin Mailbag Breakdown TM:
  • Jays next manager? Cito Gaston!
  • The solution to the Jays' SS problems? Mark Loretta! (Of course!)
  • Scott Downs? A dick to the media!
  • A.J. Burnett? A dick to everyone! But especially the media!
  • Who (if not Dick) should be the GM? Dave Dombrowski!
  • The Jays defense? Not the worst, but it sucks! Especially the pitchers! They're not Jim Kaat!
  • Sam Pollock? Dead!
That pretty much covers it. Life is simple in the minds of simple men, isn't it?

3 comments:

Drew said...

That Griffin monstrosity was one of the most frustrating things I have ever read. Doug from Peterborough deserves a terrible fate to befall him, worse even than living in Peterborough.

stoeten said...

Brilliant.

Razzer said...

I commend you for your 60 second wrap-up, that shit had me fuming for hours. That Burnett stuff was grade school weak. It is beyond me how he has a job and admits he bases his analysis on whether or not players treat him with respect.